Lets Take A Step Back And Read That Again

Blogspeed,
I gotta get some better nicknames for ya man. I'll do my best to think of some. On tonight's menu I've got some good cuisine for ya. I'm going to be talking about my dad. Now don't get me wrong I love and respect my dad to the fullest. I just have to say some stuff and get off my chest.
When I was growing up, I used to get most of my life lessons from a little show I like to call "This Is Every Family, But Mine". You might know it by its TV Guide title: Growing Pains. I thought that this was the way every family dealt with situations in their life. I soon found out that life lessons were not all Alan Thicke and Kirk Cameron like I was lead to believe by the magic of Disney Channel reruns.
When my dad handed down life lessons he would do it in a way that would not make sense to me at the time, but as I grew older I would start to get what he was saying bit by bit. I think when he told them to me they were clear and justified in his head, and never needed to be repeated. But to me it was like he was my arch nemesis and never really wanted me to understand what he was saying. I think he was just trying to make me think for myself but, I felt like I was Batman and he was the Riddeler most of the time. Here are some examples, I think you'll get what I am trying to convey after you read them:

Whats real when you look at them and not real when you feel them?
I found this answer out when I was 20....Fake Breasts!

Some times they were not really riddles but they were cryptic, which meant you needed to be part of my bloodline to decode it.

If you stare at bird shit long enough, your gonna get shit on
Turns out this one simply means that bad things happen to good people.

And other times the simplest things would come in the oddest arrangement of words.

The day I have you crossing the river in high heels is the day I'll be married to your uncle
Its time for you to move out

But nonetheless whatever the message was I always got it at some point in my life. To be honest I would not have it any other way. I think some kids these days have it too easy when their parents come right out and say what they mean. I'm going to do the very thing my dad did to me, to my kids.