Dog Calls and Guidos

Hey there blog fella,
Damn its been a while since I showed you any love. Prolly due to the influx of porn on my laptop which would have caused it to crash which in turn would have lead to me having to get it fixed which brings me to you at such a late date and from a computer that is not mine. So things are swell right now. I guess all I can really say is nothing extremely bad has happened. ( you ever get in a writing situation where you can't or don't know how to spell a word? that shit happens to me all the time. like just now when I was trying to write the word major-ly, which I am not sure if it is or is not a word. But even spell check can not pick it up so instead I used extremely cuz i know how to spell that. I find myself in those situations all the time).
Anywhobop been hearing way toooooooo much about this fucking retarded show MTV has put into their line up, and most of there shows make me want to gag these days. But I have found a show that makes me want to gag, choke on my own vomit, slit my wrists while I am choking on that vomit, and pull out each one the hairs on my head. Thats right you guessed it bud, the Jersey Shore who gave these fucking retards a show to begin with, it is like watching monkeys at the fucking zoo. I swear to god I did not know what a "Guido" was before I heard about this show, and now I don't ever want to hear that fucking word again I swear to Buddha. This show is an embarrassment to the entire human race. I know for a fact that Jersey is not like that in any light, but there are those types of fucking people out there and we need to put them on a fucking island and hope a Hurricane Katrina hits that island and do the entire human race a favor. That might be a little mean and a little hard for you to swallow blogger but tis the truth. We need to help natural selection out a wee bit on this one cuz I think she missed these fucks with her fine tooth comb.
Next up I would like to talk to a bit about me pops. My father is the strongest most gentlest man I know. He was the first person to introduce me to comedy. When I was about three years old he used to walk around at night before I went to bed with me on his shoulders and go around and use a high pitched voice and have everything in the house say good night to me. That is one of the best memories I have from yesteryear of my pops and I. I love him to death.
This story that follows is a true story and its just my dad's sense of humor so I never saw anything wrong with it at all. My dad is an avid bird hunter, he uses dogs for bird hunting primarily English Pointers, and when your hunting with dogs there is a certain rhetoric you have to use in the woods when calling them. The dog needs to know where you are at so you have to yell with your voice in a sort of fashion like this: "Hereyaare -dogs name- (mind you thats one whole word), herehereherehere, earyaare" and it sort of has a musical ring to it after a while. I have been on plenty of hunting outings with my father so I had gotten very used to his dog calls. Well after several years of this my dad, decided to try something new out. We were at the K-Mart one day my sister and I and my dad. He had asked the two of us to run and grab something from the other side of the store. After several minutes of trying to find this completely bullshit item my sister and I hear
" NIC! SAM! HEARYAARE, COMEAROUNDHERE, HEREHEREHERE"
and he kept this shit up for about 5 minutes. Finally embarrassed as all get out my sister and I walked back to him.
The next time he tried this I was ready for him, as soon as i heard him trying this crap I ran to the pet section of the store we were at grabbed a dog collar and put it on then got down on all fours and ran back to him. He was not ready for that, and it sure was the last time he tried that crap. Hehe I love my dad haha.