Letters You'll Never Read #1

So blogbaby been some time again. I know I am like a horrible father who only pays you love and shows my affection like once in a blue moon. But lets face it at least I don't treat you like a redheaded stepchild. So here is the deal, I was going through my journal from yesteryear and thought it would be fun to spill some of my deeper rooted, or rather what I thought were my deeper rooted emotions back in the day. Turns out they were really just things that I could not grasp onto as an adult and it makes me look like a whiny bitch. This particular peace comes from an entry I like to call Letters You'll Never Read. To sum it up all these letters were wrote with the intention of sending them off to a special someone. However they never made it that far and now. The first installment of Letters You'll Never Read.

Your right, it has been a long awhile. I've had a a lot on my mind I wish I could say I've been better. I wanted to try and write this without using my emotion. That seems to have failed, this is my second draft and I've gone from using my reasoning and logic. To being swayed by my emotions. I wanted to write this without thinking about you and the future.....FAILED again. The only time I can seem to clear my head is the hour I have when I listen to the new O.A.R. album. I know what your thinking " same song and dance nic, i've heard all this from you before"
If I could just ask for you to hear me out. I had to write this on paper a second time because looking at your picture while I write it on the comp is just too hard for me to say what I want to you. I've already proved to myself that writing this is a big emotional risk for me.